How to Create Undeniable Romantic Chemistry Between Your Characters
Romantic chemistry is that unspoken, elusive connection that you “know” when you see it, or rather when you feel it because it triggers a happy little soup of neurochemicals inside your body that scream more, more, more!
Raise your hand if this has ever happened to you:
You can't peel your eyes from the screen or the page.
You reread "that" section of the book over and over again.
You skip large portions of the book scanning for when the characters will have page time together again.
This fictional relationship has given you such a hangover you can't stop thinking about it.
All of that is because of one thing—chemistry.
But how do we create that magical feeling? Well, figuring that out is a bit like trying to catch smoke.
I don't know precisely what the “secret sauce” is, (and honestly, anyone who says they do might be selling snake oil, because that special magic is going to be different for each relationship), but I do know that understanding the elements required to create it gives us a better shot at crafting it on the page.
Ingredients for Crafting Romantic Chemistry:
Start by peeling back the layers of your main characters. They should be as authentic as your grandma's secret cookie recipe, each missing (or in denial that they possess) a vital ingredient that only the other can help them access.
Key Questions To Ask About Your Characters:
What do they value most and why?
What might they covet in others?
What do they want and why? What motivates them?
What are they afraid of?
What past event has wounded them and haunts them in the present?
What are they missing from becoming the best person they can be?
What do they fear is true about themselves?
What do they believe about the world around them and their place in it that doesn't serve them?
What do they believe about love and why?
What are their biases and shortcomings?
2. Layers of Attraction:
Add layers of attraction based on what the characters value, respect, or covet. Usually, there is more than one thing that attracts us to another person.
The different layers of attraction and desire:
Physical attraction - Physical traits the characters find attractive.
Intellectual attraction - Intellect, experiences, and interests.
Emotional attraction - Common wounding, shared history, experiences, spirituality.
Social attraction - Social aptitudes: confidence, humor, kindness, ambition, personality.
Even if characters are put out by each other at the story’s start, which many couples often are, there is always something that draws them together, perhaps something they can respect or something they have in common with the other person that can move them toward togetherness.
3. A Situation:
A compelling reason for them to be together that they can't easily walk away from. This is key! You have to make them stick. Do this by doling out some heavy consequences for attempting to exit stage left! They may want to, and that's fine, but they can't.
Conflict is crucial. Conflict is the gasoline you add to the spark of chemistry to create the bonfire. Create conflict between the characters, within the characters themselves, and an external conflict that forces the characters to find common ground and work together while revealing more about themselves to each other so they gain a deeper understanding and often another layer of attraction.
5. Challenge Each Other to Grow:
Make your characters challenge each other's flaws and shortcomings so they become better people. Cue all the witty banter!
6. Use Push and Pull Energy:
Build the romantic suspense, fueling the "will they" or "won't they" get together and when questions by creating moments of closeness where they grow towards love, followed by moments that pull them away. Allow this push-pull energy to build in intensity as the story progresses.
7. Don't Forget the Friendship Part of the "Ship":
Use proximity, conflict, and common ground to let the characters see each other and grow to like and appreciate each other (at least a little). If they don't want to spend time together as friends as well as lovers, the chemistry suffers because it's not believable.
Let’s apply these ingredients to a story to see how they work:
We’ll break this all down by looking at one of my all-time favorite movies for demonstrating undeniable, can't look away from, chemistry—Love & Basketball. You might want to pause here to watch it. Keep all those ingredients in mind as you do.
I won't give you all the spoilers because it's just too good of a movie for that, and it's unnecessary.
Love & Basketball is a coming-of-age, second-chance romance that follows the relationship of two ballers as they grow from childhood rivals into a freshman couple and then into mature adults with complicated lives. Both love the game of basketball and struggle to balance passion for the sport and their love for each other, especially when life's obstacles try to tear them apart.
Characters, Wants, Flaws, Situation, and Conflict.
The chemistry between Quincy and his love interest, Monica, is so believable. There is an undeniable magic when you watch their story unfold. Both characters have powerful and distinct personalities that clash and complement from the jump.
He's cocky and has all the swagger. She's got a hot temper, a quick tongue, and no time for his charm.
When they first meet at age eleven, Monica has just moved into the neighborhood and asks to play ball with Q and his friends. They laugh when they discover she's a girl.
“Girls can't play no ball,” says Q.
“Ball better than you,” snips Monica.
The challenge is set. She's all game, and damn good. Monica kicks ass, and Q is fascinated and frustrated. The result is he loses his temper, pushes her down, and she sustains a cut to her cheek. It's a moment she doesn't let him forget. This sets up some history.
They also share common goals. Q plans to play in the NBA just like his dad, and Monica is certain she’ll be the first girl to play in the NBA.
The day after their pick-up game, eleven-year-old Q, clearly smitten, asks Monica if she'll be his girl. She says sure. They kiss, which is innocently adorable, and then Q thinks he can tell her what to do, and she tells him where to stick it.
The parting shot of their childhood is a rough and tumble fight on the lawn, setting the tone of the pair being more rivals than friends…but still neighbors, and they always know what the other is up to.
The story moves to the characters in high school, where both are basketball stars. Q's being recruited everywhere; he's got a free ride and knows it, while Monica struggles to be noticed by scouts for her excellent ball skills vs. her fiery temper.
They watch each other's games but pretend not to—especially Q.
We see shots of them riding home together (they are still neighbors and can't change this–that's the glue) where she checks his ego and woman wiles, and he gives her honest feedback about why she's not getting recruited. The slappy, in-your-face banter is fantastic. We know they like each other, but neither is ready to admit it out loud.
And then we start to see moments of vulnerability as Q sneaks through Monica’s window when his parents are fighting so he can get some sleep. We get the sense that he's done this a lot.
There's mutual respect for each other's abilities, and they see each other's private struggles.
Of course, there's a championship game. Q wins his. Monica makes a mistake that costs her team the game and possibly her last shot at being recruited to USC. (Where Q is going, but no one knows this yet - more glue.)
And then there's a dance. Both go with other people. Both can't stop looking at each other.
There's some jealous banter at the dance and the rest…well, you’ll just have to watch it!
But when you look back, you'll find that all the elements that create the undeniable romantic chemistry for the couple are there: strong characters with passionate values and goals, who are attracted to each other on multiple levels, inside a situation they can't walk away from (lifelong neighbors and then attend the same college), rife with conflict (other characters and love interests, dysfunctional family dynamics, jealousy, eventually distance and time), who challenge each other's flaws. Because of all this, they become better together.
I hope you'll learn as much about romantic chemistry from this movie as I have!
Want to learn more?
Download this quick reference PDF: Seven Practical Tips to Create Believable Romantic Chemistry in Your Novel:
