Narrative Distance and the Link Between Show vs. Tell
I recently did a post on point of view, and now I want to cover a closely related topic: Narrative Distance and how it relates to show vs. tell.
If you are new to writing fiction, this term might make you scratch your head. If you're an old hat, this will be a familiar review.
Some refer to narrative distance as psychic distance, which I think is cool, but the terms are interchangeable.
Narrative distance references how far away the reader feels from your narrator.
Sometimes the narrator is a character, like in the first person point of view. Other times it's an unseen entity as with third or omniscient points of view.
Your narrative distance is close if the reader feels super cozy, like they are wearing the character's skin and seeing what is happening through their eyes.
The narrative distance is far if the reader feels like they are observing the events the character is experiencing rather than being in the moment.
So who cares?
You do. Here's why.
Being intentional with your choice of narrative distance will help you show vs. tell.
When writing in first person or third person limited ( both considered deep points of view, meaning intimate), you want the reader to feel close, and the language you use will reflect this.
For example:
Close Narrative Distance in 1st person and 3rd person
1st: My fingers ached from typing, but I couldn't stop. Newsletters wouldn't write themselves.
3rd: Stacy's fingers ached from typing, but she refused to stop. Newsletters would not write themselves.
Far Narrative Distance: In 1st person and 3rd person
1st: As I slowly and painfully typed my newsletter, I wished I could stop because I felt exhausted. But I knew I couldn't because the newsletter needed to go out tomorrow.
3rd: As Stacy typed the hundredth paragraph of her newsletter, she wished she could stop because she felt exhausted. My fingers ache so bad, she thought. But she knew if she did, her newsletter would not be written in time.
Can you see how the language differs between close narrative distance and far in these two examples?
Which feels more told?
The second set of examples, right? Why?
Take a look at the distancing language I've highlighted, and you'll see it.
1st: As I slowly and painfully typed my newsletter, I wished I could stop because I felt exhausted. But I knew I couldn't because the newsletter needed to go out tomorrow.
3rd: As Stacy typed the hundredth paragraph of her newsletter, she wished she could stop because she felt exhausted. My fingers ache so bad, she thought. But she knew if she did, her newsletter would not be written in time.
When you are in first person or third person limited, you want tight language so the reader is close. You want to eliminate overuse of pronouns, unnecessary adverbs, and filter words such as saw, could, heard, know, thought, looked, felt, noticed, and variations; otherwise, the prose feels TOLD.
If you use far narrative distance with these two intimate points of view, you lock the reader out of the experience and wind up explaining to them what is happening.
A blatant explanation = death in fiction, especially when you are in a deep point of view.
Let the reader make the judgment call about what is happening in the scene. Give them enough breadcrumbs to figure it out.
Now let's take far narrative distance and use it in third person objective and omniscient points of view.
3rd person objective: The clock struck midnight. Stacy rubbed her eyes, then stretched her fingers over the keyboard and yawned. “I need some sleep. This damn deadline.” (Remember, in the third person objective, the narrator does not know the character's thoughts or feelings as with omniscient, so they cannot say what Stacy knows or wants.)
Omniscient: As the clock struck midnight, Stacy, a middle-aged woman lacking in sleep, stretched her fingers over the keyboard to stave off the ache. She knew she was cutting it close. Her body felt exhausted, but deadlines were deadlines, and she'd never missed one.
In these examples, the prose feels less told despite the filtering words because of the point of view choice.
So the takeaways: If you choose a deep point of view, like a first person or third person limited, go for close narrative distance. It will automatically help you show more than tell, and if you are writing in omniscient, you have more wiggle room with the telling language because of the POV. If you are writing third person objective, you are truly forced to show everything—it’s like looking through a camera or watching a play unfold and the narrative distance is naturally far because you are never inside a character's head.
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