Show, Don’t Tell: How to Make Your Fiction Come Alive

“Show don't tell,” is probably the most common and frustrating piece of feedback a new writer receives.

When I started writing fiction, I scratched my head at this statement.

Today's aim, friends, is to dig deep into the meaning of show vs. tell.

What is it about reading a good book that makes us love it? Is it the story, the characters, or the writing?

I don't think it’s any of those things specifically. Hang with me for a minute. Of course, plot, characters, and writing style are vitally important, but what pulls them together and makes them live and breathe is the experience they afford us. And what kind of experience is that? Well, we don’t love flat and boring books, right? No, the experience we want is engaging and immersive. We want to be in it with the characters.

If you can learn to show effectively in your writing, your reader will be “in it” and happy to go along for the ride.

It's the difference between a lecture and a group discussion (that you want to be part of.)

When you “show, " the reader actively participates in your story.

You may have heard the classic line by Russian novelist Anton Chekhov, “Don't tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on the broken glass.” This elegant statement is often cited as a “show, don't tell” reference.

I get it. Use interesting details. Okay, cool. Are we done?

Nope. Not hardly.

Are pretty details enough to hold your attention and engage you when reading? Me neither.

Showing is much more than description.

Showing makes the setting and the character come alive by putting the reader inside the character's skin. It's not just painting a picture for the reader to visualize, it's letting them mix the colors.

How do you do that?

USE IT ALL.

Yes, use interesting details (interesting because your character finds them interesting or meaningful,) but don't forget about the character's actions, reactions, dialogue, internal monologue, body language, characterization, subtext, and setting. It all comes into play to evoke emotion, curiosity, and anticipation on the page.

If I could give only one solid piece of advice on "show vs. tell," I would defer to Lisa Cron and her book Story Genius. She says, "Show me what the moment means to the character."

Don't explain it. In fiction, explaining equals death.

Show me your character's confusion, fear, and hesitation with their stutter and the dart of their eyes as each stair creaks beneath their weight. Show me their shame as their face reddens, and they sink lower in the conference room chair.

I recently took a fantastic masterclass on show vs. tell from author and editor Melissa Frey. (Big shout out to you, Melissa!) My takeaway: ask who's making the judgment about what is going on in the scene. Can the reader discern the meaning, or are you, the author, explaining it to them?

The point is to let the reader interact with the story. Engage them. Andrew Stanton, Pixar storytelling genius, nails it in his Ted Talk, The Clues to a Great Story, “Don't give them 4. Give them 2 + 2” (If you have 18 minutes, go watch it!)

I believe that ability to show in your writing is like a muscle; the more you practice, the stronger the skill becomes.

Tips to help you practice showing your work in progress.

• Establish the feeling you want your reader to have as they read the scene.

• Select details for descriptions that are meaningful to your character and describe them in a way only your character would. Make sure those details also help evoke the emotion you are going for in the scene.

• Add sensory details (sight, sound, smell, sensation, touch) but don't overdo it.

• Use dialogue to show your character's personality and how things affect them.

• Include the character’s thoughts and body sensations/reactions/actions.

• Go for solid verbs that convey the meaning of the action.

• Eliminate filter words like stared, looked, watched, heard, saw, felt, and their variations. They create distance between the reader and the character’s experience. They explain instead of allowing for a deduction.

• Watch your ‘was.’ Overuse of was in a passage can be a sign of telling.

• Tighten the sentences in revision. Remove unnecessary pronouns and prepositions.

• Use active voice vs. passive.

Didn’t you just love me “telling” you about all that? LOL! Okay, now let me “show” you.

Example 1: Using It All.

Telling: I ran after him.

Showing: I chased him into the woods.

Using it all to show the meaning of the moment: Branches tore at my shirt and ripped through my skin, but I ignored the pain and pumped my legs harder. Faster. Nothing mattered except the ending the man who'd done this to me–to my family. He would pay. Eyes burning, blinded with rage, I gripped my knife. "Come back here, you bastard!"

Not the best, but I came up with it on the fly! Can you pick out the sensory details, setting, internal monologue, action, dialogue, and strong verbs?

There's also a goal, expectations, backstory, and emotions.

Example 2: Eliminate filter words, remove excessive pronouns and prepositions.

First, don’t worry about filter words when drafting. That’s a revision task. Think of filter words as placeholders for better ones. Again, filter words are often weak verbs that distance the reader from the story.

Filter word-heavy passage: “Stacy was staring out her window instead of typing her blog post. She wasn't doing a very good job staying focused because her daughter was in the living room making a TON of noise even though the TV was on and she had plenty of snacks.” #momlife.

Fix: “Stacy turned from her office window back to her laptop, determined to write her blog post. With a deep breath, she resumed the impossible task of ignoring the happily shrieking six-year-old, barking puppy and blaring TV.” #momlife.

Example 3: Eliminate Passive Voice

Do your best to keep your sentences active vs. passive (a topic I'll cover in depth some other day).

But the gist: Make the subject of the sentence do the work. Ex: "Stacy typed her words in a hurry," not "the words were typed in a hurry by Stacy."

But the good news is if you use strong verbs, watch the wasing, and eliminate filter words, your sentences naturally become more active.

Can you ever tell?

Sure, it has its place. Sometimes right next to showing to convey context. Example: Stacy pounded her fist on the desk. She was so tired of all the interruptions.

Telling is very effective when you are transitioning in time and space. Example: “The war ended three months later,” or “Six hours later, they landed in Hawaii.” You can’t show all the time, or the story will be a million pages long!

BIG TAKEAWAY: Remember to include your reader in your writing and trust they will know what you are showing them. Readers are smart! Give them an experience. Make them care and ignite their curiosity, and they will be happy little word gobblers!