Are You Stalling With Your Writing, Is Life Just Lifeing…or Is It Both?
Have you heard the expression that two things can be true at the same time? Annoying, yes? Though it doesn’t seem to matter much how I feel about it.
Let me give you some context.
I told a beta reader I’d send them my manuscript by mid-August.
This beta reader is not my MIL, who, bless her, will read my novels and tell me, "It’s good. Made sense, and here are all your typos!" I love her for that because by then I need a confidence boost, and I can’t proofread to save my life. But she’s not who I rely on to help me strengthen my story (other than fixing typos–thanks again, Lyn).
So this beta reader was very important. And we’d swapped. I’d agreed to return their manuscript feedback by a certain date, which I did.
But did I send mine when I said I would?
Noooope.
When we don’t do what we say we will
So why didn’t I send my beta reader the manuscript?
Well … life was lifeing.
We were in the dog days of summer, before the fair, getting ready to show rabbits, prepping to return to school, plus work, getting ready for group coaching, and all the other things.
So telling myself I was too busy wasn't hard.
I was busy.
Plus, I wanted to review the novel one more time and fix all those typos, you know, to make it shine.
Then, suddenly I realized that being busy wasn’t the only thing going on.
Note to self: Reading someone else’s novel at 4 am when that’s your writing time is a red flag.
I was scared.
When I got right down to it, the thought of sharing my novel with a true reader of my genre—one who expects an emotional experience with a kick-ass climax and a satisfying ending—turned me into an ostrich.
And let me tell you, there were a lot of things down there in the sand to keep me distracted from the fact that I was afraid my story wasn’t good enough, or my prose wasn’t up to snuff (especially after my MIL returned my manuscript with 500 Post-its… Okay, okay, that’s an exaggeration; there were maybe like 30.)
The point: My intentions to make this book the best it could be didn't line up with my actions.
I know I need feedback. I know when I’m splitting hairs over syntax and rhythm, it’s time to let go.
Both things can be true.
I was really busy, but I also had pockets of time when I conveniently chose to read a novel, watch a show, or mess around on social instead of doing that final read on the manuscript before I sent it to the beta reader.
Fear hides behind legitimate reasons to stall
Here’s the thing: Fear is really good at hiding behind legitimate reasons.
Sometimes life really is lifeing, and we don't have the capacity to write, revise, query, share our work, or whatever else we're telling ourselves we "should" be doing.
That's not avoidance. That's reality.
But again, both things can be true. (You see why this gets annoying?)
Life is busy, and we’re scared.
So maybe the question isn’t as simple as: Why haven't I done the thing yet?
Maybe a better question is: When I do have the capacity, why aren’t my actions lining up with what I say I want?
Because I wanted feedback, I knew it was the next step. I knew I had taken this manuscript as far as I could on my own.
And yet, when I had pockets of time to do that final read and polish, I did other things.
That was one of my tells.
Here was the other: After I finally did the re-read and typo polish, I kept wanting to rework the manuscript instead of actually sending it.
Because working on it meant I was still in control. I could fix another sentence. Read it one more time and make it just a little bit better before somebody else got to have an opinion about whether any of it actually held together.
Stalling Can Look Like Work and Progress
And that's the tricky thing about stalling as a writer. It can look like work, like progress.
Another pass through chapter one. More agent research. One more craft book. A little more worldbuilding before you start drafting.
Sometimes those things are exactly what the book needs.
But they can also be a very productive-looking place to hide from whatever scary thing comes next.
Questions worth asking yourself
So maybe there are really three questions worth asking yourself if you find you’re holding back from taking the next step:
1. Do I have the capacity to take the next step?
2. If yes—even if I don't have all the capacity—do I know what my next step is, and am I doing everything except that?
3. If yes, why? What’s motivating me?
Once I realized fear was making decisions for me, hiding behind both my very legitimate busyness and my very legitimate desire to make the book better, I couldn't unsee it.
So I emailed that beta reader.
And then I sent the manuscript to two more.
Knowing what’s truly motivating us is often the key to taking the action we’ve been avoiding.
So, fear doesn’t get to drive this double-decker—at least not today.
I hope you don’t let it drive yours either!
